I don’t know what it is about January but it always seems to go on forever. It’s been a busy start to the year but I managed to read four books so I’m pretty pleased. This month I dove into Sally Rooney’s books after seeing much hype about them all over the interwebs; the name ‘Chanel Miler’ became ingrained in my memory; and a beautiful story about life and regrets made my heart all warm and fuzzy.

Normal People by Sally Rooney

My rating: 4/5 stars

“No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not.”

Normal People

I love stories that tackle the complexity and fragility of the relationships we have with other people. & this book tells the story of Marianne and Connell – the birth & growth of their relationship through high school and college.

Rooney perfectly captures the uncertainty and imperfections in relationships. As well as some contributing factors such as: timing, emotions, miscommunication, mental health, fear etc.

This didn’t start off as a magnificent read. The characters slowly grow on you until mid-way you realize: oh sh*t I’m invested. There’s a coming of age story in here, a self-discovery story & most of all a beautiful, complicated, unsatisfying yet satisfying love story.

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

My rating: 5/5 stars

“I wrote this book because the world can be harsh and terrible and often unforgiving. I wrote because there were times I did not feel like living. I wrote because the court system is slow as a snail, and victims are forced to spend so much time fighting, rather than spending their days creating, drawing, cooking. I wrote to expose the brutality of entitlement, gender violence, and class privilege in society. But I would be failing you if you walked away from this book untouched by humanity, without seeing what I saw: those thousands of handwritten letters, the green-lipped fish at the bottom of the ocean, the winking court reporter. All the small miracles that sustained me. We may spend half our time wandering around, wondering what we’re even doing, why it’s worth the effort. But living is an incredible thing, just to have been here, to have felt, if only briefly, the volume and death of others’ empathy. I wrote, most of all, to tell you I have seen how good the world can be.”

Know My Name

Chanel Miller was sexually assaulted by Brock Turner on January 18, 2015. I remember when the news broke that Brock had been caught in the act, chased by two men who held him down until the police arrived. I remembered seeing so many reports about his ‘potential’ – a Stanford student, an Olympian, his bright future being taken away from him. I remember hearing about how he planned to plead “not guilty” and feeling so confused, how can you plead not guilty when you were literally caught in the act? I remember him being sentenced to only six months in prison and feeling rage that a woman’s life, safety, and well being meant so little to society. I remember feeling so defeated, yet another rich white man, facing barely any consequences for his actions. I remember knowing very little about the victim, only knowing her as “Emily Doe.” I remember reading a statement she released to the public and being moved to tears.

It’s taken me over two weeks to read this book because I had to pause many times. I paused to let myself feel anger. I paused to stare in disbelief. I paused to cry. I paused to breathe.

Chanel’s recounting of the events of that night and the years to follow will have you engrossed. It’s very detailed, real and full of truth. She dives into the court proceedings, what it was like keeping her assault a secret from her friends and boyfriend for so long, the loneliness and trauma that followed her, the effect on her relationships, the person she became.

I encourage everyone to read this book. Yes it will make you angry. Yes it will make you sad. But most of all I think it’ll make you hopeful. Because as long as there are survivors like Chanel – giving a voice to victims, fighting to hold people, systems and institutions accountable for their inaction…then I think the world..eventually just might be okay..

Chanel Miller. Chanel Miller. Chanel Miller. She told us to know her name and now I won’t ever forget it.

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

My rating: 3/5 stars

“Everyone’s always going through something, aren’t they? That’s life, basically. It’s just more and more things to go through.”

Conversations with Friends

Frances is best friends with Bobbi. Bobbi is also France’s ex. They befriend Melissa, an older woman who is married to Nick. Nick and Frances develop an attraction towards one another and begin a secret relationship. There are essentially multiple love triangles within this story.

After reading ‘Normal People’ and now this, I think it’s safe to say that Sally Rooney enjoys and is quite good at telling the stories of complicated/unusual relationships. A theme in this book that seems to be consistent with Rooney’s other book (Normal People) is Communication. Terrible communication, lack of communication, suppressed feelings. I also noticed very similar personality traits between the characters in this book and those in Normal People. (It’s really hard not to compare lol)

My takeaway from this book is that we all have a certain perception of ourselves and our relationships and that our relationship with ourselves can affect the way we interact with and/or perceive people’s reactions towards us. Also based on the progression of this story and the ending, my ultimate takeaway is: old habits die hard.

When All is Said by Anne Griffin

My rating: 4/5 stars

“I’m here to remember – all that I have been and all that I will never be again.”

When All is Said

Maurice Hannigan is an old man now. Sitting at the bar of a hotel, reminiscing about his life, making five toasts to five people that have made him the man he is today. His brother Tony, his mother, his sister in-law Noreen, his daughter Molly, his son Kevin and his wife Sadie.

Through his toasts, Maurice tells us about his life. His brother Tony who was his rock throughout childhood and believed in him when he didn’t believe in himself. His mother who never fully recovered from the loss of her oldest child. His troubled sister in-law who would become such a huge part of his life. His daughter Molly who was alive for fifteen minutes – and her “ghost” who he still sees till this day. His son Kevin, who grew up to be an extraordinary writer but who he couldn’t relate to due to their contrasting personalities. And his wife Sadie, the love of his life who he’s still struggling to let go of two years after her passing.

‘When All Is Said’ is a story about grief, love and regrets. An old man’s reflection on the long life that he lived. The people he met, those who left him and those he’ll leave behind. A beautiful and wholesome read.